There are many ways to say farewell from formal funeral services to private home-setting celebrations. They all form a part of the way we say goodbye. Obituaries or death notices, however, are a public way we share our final farewell celebration. It is part of the way we say goodbye - the public posting of final words. Some obituaries indicate much thought and much reflection on the life that was lived.

A death notice is a minimal amount of notice. An obituary is usually a more detailed account of a person's life and is often prepared for the newspaper from a form that the family fills out. Obituaries are a written form of collective remembrances. They remind us of others as well as ourselves - parents or grandparents of friends, the young suddenly departing, the loss of 'valiant struggles' against diseases not yet conquered.

When community members leave, whether we know them personally or not, we mark their time with us by publicly commemorating their passing. The final words are one way we say goodbye and the way we will remember. These final words are often the way survivors pay tribute, perhaps make amends, and express hope for immortality.

How do we say goodbye? There is comfort to seeing words in print that somehow provide a sense of permanency, an official recorded accounting of a life, a lasting memorial to a dearly departed relative or friend. Words in print are a way of saying goodbye and provide a final tribute.

For many families and friends that no longer live in the same community or province these written words of farewell serve to notify relatives and friends who live elsewhere and who cannot always be immediately contacted. The final words of farewell benefit those who are unable to attend the funeral service in person. At the Whattam Funeral Home we are proud to take the death notice and laminate it making it into a bookmark giving one to each immediate family member - these serve as a keepsake for future generations.

Most of the above was taken from the book "The Way We Say Goodbye" written by Mary Ellen Gillan, from Serious Publishing and was printed in Canada by Kromar Printing. We keep this book on a table in the lounge for our families to see and we use it and loan it out periodically - it is a useful resource for any funeral director.